The Pursuit of Happyness

Dear Blog,

You know something in the pit of your belly is telling you something when you find that alot of the things you do now are either:
a) Done while deliberately withholding making it public knowledge
b) Done when there is nobody else around
c) Avoided in conversations so you never have to go there
d) All of the above.

I feel like I am in the throes of a full-blown mid-life crisis.

Fast life, bad boys, bad-ass cars, cashed-up yellow boganette.

I posed the question on my Facebook status update yesterday, "What's the point of life if you can't have the things that make you happy?"

Unfortunately, there's the temporary "happy" and the more sustainable "happy".


Temporary happy?
You go with the bad boy, the one everybody tells you to avoid. He showers you with the affection, the expensive dinners, the gutsy persistence you've never experienced.

Listening to clubby dance music, which makes you exceedingly happy. Drinks optional but wouldn't hurt.

Getting that sexy car, not the smartest financial decision you could make after years of saving up for a house deposit.

Like the music, you get really pumped up and excited right on the best bit of the song, and when it goes into the lame sing-songy bit, you just stop on your tracks and look around aimlessly.


Sustainable happy?
You meet a holy little Christian boy who probably doesn't know any better and you both are so good on paper that you both decide it would be the smartest decision to "merge assets".

Never mind there is no physical attraction.

You get what you want, someone who wants to settle down like you do.

He will never look at anybody else, never hang out with another female soul, and you will be 'happy' for the rest of your life.

You stop drinking, cut contact with all your drinky friends (because you can never trust yourself to behave with them), and be sober 'happy'.

You put the deposit down for a cute 3x2 unit, then spend the next 5 years putting all your earnings into the house and worrying about losing your job and being too kiamsiap to ever take it out for a holiday or an indulgent purchase. 'Happy'.


Now, why is it so hard to make the call? *scratch head*