Monday, October 22, 2012

Random October Entry

Dear Blog,
I did promise that I was going to  be good and try to blog more regularly. All for my non-existent readers. And admittedly for my own sanity.

So what random topic will we speak about today? Well, talking about what I've been up to always gets the gears going, and before you know it, you are witnessing a full-fledged rant fest from yours truly.

With the holidays approaching, I am increasingly getting stressed out about planning a Christmas holiday. I have been toying with the idea of New York for a couple of months now, right down to researching flights, accommodations, places of interest, the LOT!


It is now almost 2 months to Christmas and we have not even made the decision to buy the plane tickets! 

The current situation with my job and L's job is making it hard to lock anything down, and looking at the crazy peak-time rates, I am just very wary of spending that much money on a holiday. Perhaps I will be happier if that AUD6,000 stayed warm and cosy in my savings account. If I lost my job, that amount of moolah will leave me comfortable for a good few months.

But it's New York! White Christmas (probably more like Grey-and-Yellow-in-certain-corners Chrismas but that's besides the point)!!


Friday, October 12, 2012

Call me Ms. Hypocrite

Dear Blog,

Maybe it's my "upbringing" (I say this with a very sarcastic quote-unquote because a couple of years back I've had somebody QUESTION my upbringing just because I sin differently than him. Pish tush).

Actually I am quite sure it's my upbringing.

Of all the traits that I have inherited from my parents, the two most prominent traits are, empathy and scepticism/pessimism (slash because they kind of go hand-in-hand), the latter being the obvious dominant ones.

I question EVERYTHING in my life. As a Christian, I still second-guess the whole how-Earth-came-about theory, and admittedly lean towards Darwinism (shock horror!) to try and make some sense of it.

As an engineer, I try my damned hardest to put logic into everything. Oh, you saw a white figure coming up to you while you were driving on the road? It must be a reflection from nearby lighting or a stray white plastic bag in the wind. But am still shit-scared of the dark (I seem to always have this inherent fear that I will suddenly see something unplesant and won't be able to escape due to limited visibility).

I don't believe in insurance (at least not paying for them for YEARS and YEARS of your life).

I cannot trust my bank.

Marriage? Hmm, one of those nice-to-have things but I don't put that much hope in it's sanctity.

Children, oh sweet innocent children? Nuh-uh. I have this sinking feeling that I will likely breed a devil-child no amount of disciplining will fix.

Right down to the meaning of life.

What I spend on. Really? Thousands of dollars on a watch? Or a hand bag? Alot of the times it feels like a NEED when it is really just a WANT.

Life indulgences. A recent trip to Jakarta made me quite depressed looking at the state of poverty some of them are living in. And yet, 10 hours later, I am whisked away into one of the most happening clubs in Jakarta in a heavily modded (driver, extra dark tint like a bawse, TV screens and fake siren included) MPV, downing expensive cognac like it's water all night.

Down to what I eat. All that cruelty in the animals-for-meat trade, the dairy industry (it may come as a suprise to some of us, as it did for me when I researched about where that glass of milk in the morning came from and its by-products). The food wastage scandal in the developed world (the amount of food waste from us can feed the world THREE times over and YET there are still people dying from starvation).

And yet, what do I do when I have all this injustice staring back at me? I shrug my shoulders and say I am only a drop in the ocean.

I feel like I should do so much more. Say no to buying real fur (I must admit I was very tempted to buy a fox tail accessory for my handbag when all the faux-fur options looked quite sucky in comparison), and generally being responsible and aware of what I eat and spend on.

Part of me says, do what you can. I am fortunate enough to have a decent-paying job most people would envy. Maybe putting some of that aside for a good cause.

Then you read about dodgy charity organisations.

You read, time and time again, of greedy humans capitalising on anything to make more money and buy that 10th Lambo.

One example of MANY; The diamond trade. Those beautiful blingy things that all girls like (whether they openly admit it or not, and yes I caught you staring at your ring lovingly for the 93458th time the other day). A synthetic diamond (which by technical definition, is a perfect flawless diamond) which costs 10% of a real natural diamond (of which how many can you safely say are not supplied by the blood diamond trade and artificially inflated to make rich potbellies even richer?) seems like the responsible alternative. Yet, where is the fun in buying a thousand dollar ring as opposed to one that costs tens of thousands?

Where is my place in all this? I don't know yet but I am really keen to find out. In the mean time, LOLdogs will make the world seem okay for now.


Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Well well..

Thought of the day: I'm back bitches!!

Dear Blog,

Dayum, 8 long months since I last vented out and cursed and swore at the latest pet peeves added to my excessively long list (I believe the Pet Peeve count is at #298,498,398 at the moment).

There were moments when I contemplated shutting down the blog, or maybe perhaps setting up a NEW one that isn't so cloyingly pink. It's just lately that I have been hit by my blogging bug again, usually set on by random articles that I'm reading in a vain attempt to reverse the effects of premature degeneration of my brain. Call it brain-training if you will.
Plus, Facebook statuses have an abysmal character limit that is no match for my long-winded rants.I take my last sentence back, apparently Facebook has upgraded their status character limit to a whopping 63,206 (!!!) characters.

Anyhoo, what's new in Porcinusmay's life you ask (or maybe not)? Nothing much really. The monotony of work life (granted I have had pretty good opportunities and mentors who taught me lots), still trying to take that first step and buy a property (I'm sorry that my commitment-phobe brain screams out "OMFG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! THAT'S ALMOST HALF A MILLION DOLLARS YOU ARE GAMBLING AND YOU'LL LOSE ALL YOUR SAVINGS!" everytime I step into a home open), abit of travelling here and there, the usual too-little-time-socializing and lots of stuffing of faces trying out new food establishments (latest one being Superstar Waffles in an alley in Northbridge cause', you know, we're adventurous like that). Other than that and sometimes still wishing I could disappear, all chipper! :)

On to Edition 1 of Interesting Articles of the Week, Curing fussy eaters: Can you teach your tastebuds to LOVE the food that you HATE?

In a recent trip to Jakarta, BF's local friends graciously took turns to drive us around to good eats and attractions in town. They all followed the niceties of introductions (first time I'm meeting most of them) with the same question; "Do you eat .. *insert 'chillies','spicy foods','innards','frog legs' here* " . I gave the same answer every time, "Yup, I eat everything!"

I used to avoid bitter gourd because they were damn bitter, but I could still take the egg it is normally stirfried with. But now it's like any other vegetable.

My younger sister used to be the pickiest eater growing up, she would only have plain white rice with plain egg omelette (it must be fried to her liking too, thin and slightly crunchy around the edges. Mom used to mess it up too much that sister took matters to her own hands and fried herself one at every meal ) Now we go out together for Sarawak laksa and she wolfs the leftovers at the bottom of a bowl of kolo mee (consisting of lard, fried shallots, sometimes spring onions). I asked her once what clicked, she said she just tried it one day and decided she liked it. -.-

Bestie hates coriander with a vengeance and no matter how much exposure she gets to it (intentional or non-intentional), her gag reflex kicks up and she has to have water to wash the stench off her tongue. Even coriander pieces steeped in hot soup cannot escape her tastebuds.

In other occasions, food aversions or pickiness can come about from a traumatic experience. Case in point, coriander-hating bestie remembered one occasion in her childhood where she fell ill and vomitted the whole bowl of Sarawak laksa. She has not had another bowl of Sarawak laksa since.

I recall being 5-6 years old and witnessing my older sister purging what's left of a pineapple binge. Safe to say, pineapple stayed out of my diet for a while after that. I still do not like the unpleasant feeling on your tongue when you have fresh pineapples.

Mild food pickiness if probably fine and sometimes actually cute, but to sustain your body with nothing but McDonalds nuggets for 15 years of your 17 year lifetime (and likely not going to be very long) cannot be a very smart thing to do. Sure, I think them nuggets taste blardy awesome too (10 of these mofos in one sitting with tubs of Honey Mustard sauce after a big night out really hits the spot), but surely your body will crave for some greens?!

My principle in eating is, there's only one way to find out if you like it, and that is to taste it. That could work as a pretty apt life principle too really doesn't it?


Sunday, January 29, 2012


Gosh, emo me indeed last month when I had a major episode.
Christmas, New Year and Chinese New Year came and went and I just read this entry in disbelief that I have the capacity to feel so miserable.

And fuck off all you Mr and Miss Sunshines. I obviously have issues that fluff up my ass won't fix.

Entry written 12th December 2011:

It shouldn't be hard to do really.

Pinch muscles on sides of face upwards.
Where permissible, allow separation between lips to show teeth and demonstrate positive well-being.

Doesn't matter that your insides feel like they are tying themselves up into a mess of knots that would even drive the most seasoned boy scout running for mommy.

Doesn't matter that you sometimes really wish you could disappear in a puff of smoke.

Doesn't matter that you're surrounded by the best friends anyone could ask for, but you still feel like the loneliest soul on the planet.

Just smile.

Friday, December 02, 2011


Dear Blog,

When I watched the first two Twilight movies a couple of years back, I had thought, "WOW I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE THIRD MOVIE TO COME OUT! THEY FINALLY GET MARRIED!!"

Fast forward 1+ years since the last movie, Mr. L does me a big favour by volunteering to go and watch the movie with me. By this time, I was having reservations about spending $18 per person to sit in a grubby seat watching a cringe-worthy movie. (Now I know it will be cringe-worthy because the week before I had watched the first Twilight movie again and in the scenes that I used to swoon and hyperventilate in, I actually felt slightly embarassed)

We went anyway on Wednesday, and the movie was so bad it was actually funny.

I could not feel any kind of chemistry at all between the characters (although I must say Taylor Lautner did a pretty good job) and Bella has turned into this STILL AWKWARD, NEEDY, loose box.

Pluses from the movie:
1. Amazing wedding sequence, I actually teared abit as Charles, Bella's dad, walked her down the aisle.


Beautiful lace detailing on the back of the wedding dress and it's a beautiful style really.

*sighs* How beautiful is this?

Pretty back detailing

2. Jacob seems to be the only person capable of any form of expression that is at least half convincing.

Yea he was pretty much angry throughout the movie, you know, having his love ripped away from him and all.

3. A scene when Bella dies and Edward is trying desperately to transfer vampire venom into her so she'll be resurrected. He injects vampire venom straight into her heart and furiously pumps her heart via CPR. When that fails, he takes matters into his own hands and bites her on her neck. When that didn't work, her arm.

Then the other arm.

Then the right upper thigh.

Then the left leg.

All the while making this 'SQUISH' sound everytime he bit in.
WE LAUGHED OUR HEADS OFF much to the chagrin of the fangirls.

4. There is none.

Minuses from the movie:
1. The finish on the wedding dress was this cheap satin that reminded me of what our costumes were like back when we learned ballet and were dressed up as goldfishes.

Eew satin

2. Cringe-worthy bedroom scene. He actually crushed, what appeared to be, a HARDWOOD window frame (at least 4 inches THICK) in the throes of passion and his undying love for his mortal new bride. And she escapes with a couple of bruises (which I must point out, she DID NOT notice until her concerned new husband pointed it out).

Hardwood window frame in question

3. The way she begged for nookie was just. URGH. Not that I'm saying it's not right to do that, but just not in front of me please.


4. Story was just tweaked abit too much from the book and I felt it really lost alot of its meaning. There were bits that were not explained well, which would've made any person watching the movie without having first read the book, veryvery VERY confused.

5. Teen pregnancy at 18 just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside doesn't it?

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Dear Blog,

I am selfish, I won't deny that for one second.

Even if I can't have that something for myself, I still want it anyway.

Even if I have made it clear I don't want it, I still want it when I see other people having it or wanting it as well.

Even when things fall into place like finding two jigsaw pieces that go together (and not the corner and edge pieces, that's technically cheating.), I still want to see if the jigsaw piece from another box fits, just incase.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Sitting under a cabana on the beach on a beautiful breezy sunny day.

Enjoying each other's company in silence.

Mr. L: "Bee, I think you need to do something."

Me: "What?" *thinking this was going to be another serious talk sesh*

Mr. L: "You need to do something about your nose hair."

Ah, sweet sweet romance.

I need to lose weight!